Things I Do NOT Miss About Uni... Part 1: All-Nighters

So we've all had to do one at some point during our degree. Whether it's because your computer had a meltdown, you forgot the deadline or you were simply too lazy to actually write it (yeah... I've done all three) an all-nighter is sometimes the only way out. 
Those dreaded deadlines seem to pile up on each other. I keep picturing evil lecturers gathering together asking themselves, "Are these deadlines too far apart? Of course they are! Lets put them all in the same week, I'm sure the students will appreciate it." *evil laughter*
So as deadlines loom closer, students start gathering in the library, searching for the perfect quotes to put in their essays. But, obviously, the library operates on a 'first come, first served' policy resulting in the best (and sometimes only) texts on the subject being taken and held hostage until after the hand-in.
Sometimes, you do get lucky and manage to stumble across some obscure text your classmates have overlooked. This is when you do your happy dance, earning weirded out stares from library workers. Oh well... totally worth it.
So it comes down to camping out in the library, which involves venturing to Tesco in search of munchies and energy drinks, and picking out your comfiest outfit (some people just go in their pjs) and settling down for the night. It usually helps to have a friend in the same situation to keep you motivated.
And what happens next can be one of two things:
1) You actually sit down and start writing, getting a good head start and finishing off in time for a quick nap before your hand-in or
2) You procrastinate on Facebook, or stare blankly at the wall until you realise it's 6:30am and you have written only your name and the essay title in a Word document. So you panic and power type probably the best essay you've ever written (writing under pressure tends to do that for me).
If you're a no. 2) kind of person, you'll probably be seen swearing at the printers 10 minutes before hand-in and sprinting to reception praying you get there on time. 
But when you do finally hand it in, a massive weight gets lifted off your shoulders and as you slowly make your way to the SU bar for a well deserved drink you make the following promise:
'Next time, I'll do it all a week in advance. No more all nighters.'
... Like hell you will.

Growing Old is Inevitable, But Growing Up is Optional

Although some people do take that concept quite far... 

And by people, I mean older women dressed like teenagers that from behind look like they could be any age between 25 and 55. Don't get me wrong, I think it's great that you still feel young at heart, but honestly, that strapless top isn't doing you any favours. And to men who still think they can pull off baggy jeans, I think most of us would prefer not seeing your bum crack. It's not a pleasant visual experience.
If there is something that really makes me cringe, is those mother-daughter duos which we need to examine very closely in order to determine which is which. They go shopping together, pick out the same clothes, and then try them on. This then turns into a fascinating display of shamelessness as they both begin to try on slinky dresses and totter out on mile high heels, making it easier to establish who the mother is. Namely, the one that can pull off neither of these items.
In general, I think people should learn how to age gracefully. It's not all about how you look. I'd rather be able to hang out with my parents, and talk to them one-on-one about the important stuff than have them bond with me over a "shared" fashion sense. It makes me feel that these people are trying too hard to hang onto their youth, and are missing out on other things that become more important as you become older. It's the same concept of a child wanting to be older and not enjoying their childhood while it lasts. 
It's funny that as kids, when asked our age we would always answer with "I'm going to turn..." showing how desperate we were to get older. Whenever my sister says that, I have to fight the urge to shake her while saying: "Enjoy 10 while you can! You'll never get it back."
There's a beautiful poem called 'On Turning Ten' about this exact thing. I wish I could go back and make my younger self read this, then maybe I would spend more time enjoying being a child than wishing I was already an adult so my parents couldn't boss me around (which by the way, is not true. Even at 21 they still try to manage my life).
The way I see, life's in stages for a reason. We're not meant to spend our lives looking back or forward. There are so many things to miss if were not living in the present. It's hard to avoid falling into the trap of thinking how life could be better, or was better. I often find myself daydreaming about the future, only to be bitterly disappointed when things don't turn out the way I imagined. But there comes a point where we have to teach ourselves to stay rooted in the present.
I know growing older sucks, but as long as we keep young at heart things shouldn't be too bad.

*BEEEP BEEEEP BEEEEP* *hit snooze* Roll Over...

                               ... closely followed by "Oh crap, I'm late now..."

Looks like a good idea, should try it myself.

This is pretty much my usual morning routine. I normally set my alarm half an hour early, and even then I still manage to get up at the last possible minute. My bed is just so snug and warm... If only it were that comfy when I get in at night.

It's so hard to get to sleep sometimes. Besides the bed being cold, and not finding the right position, your brain decides it's a good time to go into overdrive and start dissecting the day minute by minute. Random things pop into your head unexpectedly, such as possible comebacks you could've used (seriously? I couldn't come up with that 5 hours ago) and you find yourself staring up at the ceiling for hours pondering the meaning of life.

And when it's dark, everything sounds so much louder. I find myself jumping at the slightest sound or counting how many times my housemates go to the bathroom (7 times last night, in case you were wondering). 

Eventually, you begin to drift off... you get comfy in bed... your eyes start to close... and an effing helicopter decides it's the perfect time of day to circle your house. The only way that could be any more annoying is if they decided to shine a spotlight through your window. And the helicopter pilot seems to have a weird sense of humour, for after circling above your house for what seems like hours you hear them slowly moving away, the sounds getting softer with distance. And just when you think you can finally settle back to attempting to sleep, they turn around with a vengeance and hover above you for another hour.

The Evil Pilot is probably laughing at the poor innocent beings suffering below him, and you are so tempted to lean out of the window and yell: "Would somebody please shoot this damn thing down!!!"

So you attempt plan B: which is playing relaxing music on your ipod. But this involves finding said ipod, which is never where you left it the day before. And when you do find it, then comes the biggest challenge of the night: untangling your headphones in the dark. Well, you could always switch the light on, but who wants to be blinded at 3:30 a.m? So I proceed to try and untangle them, usually ending up totally frustrated and only using one bud. But occasionally, the stars align, and the headphones slip free of their restraints and I am able to lie down and relax to some music. But of course, as I mentioned before, everything sounds louder in the dark, and my ipod is on daytime volume and halfway through a song. Knowing my luck, it's probably AC/DC blaring out at full volume making you jump half a mile while raping the - button, hoping to get the volume down to an acceptable level.

Hopefully, from then on, the quest towards sleep should be easier. Until you're awoken either by your evil alarm clock or the cheesiest song ever on your ipod.

Still, either of these options beats your mother barging into your room at an ungodly hour and pulling off your covers... 

Cover Letters... or How to Dupe Employers Into Hiring You

Writing cover letters is a noble art. It's a chance to let your creativity rise to the challenge of creating a whole new, employable persona - which probably doesn't even resemble the 'real' you.
You're expected to cram who you are, what skills you have and what you can offer into one side of A4.  Basically, you have to market yourself as an employable product.

Looks about right?

Personally, I have trouble writing cover letters. I get bogged down by the job descriptions, and trying to figure out what I'm expected to say. I always end up sounding pretentious - at least I think so. It's always something along the lines of:

"You must hire me. I am obviously the best candidate. I have all these skills *insert skills here*. You clearly stated in your job description that you need people with *insert skills here*, which, as I mentioned previously, I have.
By the way, did I mention I have all these skills? Because I do. So you should hire me. I am the best candidate."

It sounds so stilted and impersonal. If I were called in for an interview, they would barely recognise me based on that letter. I'm not that conceited individual, inadvertently snubbing all other candidates applying for the position.
But everyone does it. We all have to write cover letters at some point in our lives. It's almost a sucking-up competition. You write like 20 versions, sending them out to different employers telling each of them how much you would love to work for them, because it's the only place you can envision yourself working at.
And this, just like your new cover letter alter-ego, is all lies!
But they want us to lie, why else were CVs invented? Nobody tells the truth in CVs or cover letters. If we did, most of us wouldn't even be working. Employers must love being sucked-up to, because we all blatantly do it and so far, nobody has complained.
Growing up is a b****